UP THRE IN THE SKY

One of those mad days when I was running with the fast pace of the commercial capital of the country, trying to fit myself with the struggle for survival and by the end of it all it was the lackadaisical old Calcuttan who decided against the lifeline of Mumbai, the trains. I settled for a luxury of the auto. At one of the signals there are always kids selling something or begging…..and in their hands did I see the Indian tricolor only to realize that the Independence Day celebration was nearing. Sad how we have forgotten the national day of attaining freedom in the quest of liberating ourselves!
Anyways refused the usual ones, and then suddenly the glitter of the innocent eyes caught my attention. It added to say a lot more when I discovered the smile on this little ones face. At a distance oblivious of the difficulties and challenges of survival the little soul seemed a lost angel. Couldn’t resist the temptation, of a tête-à-tête with innocence. She came close. The soiled hands, the tattered clothes….external identity ceased to matter….i could have just been with this four year old lil girl for the smell of old me, untouched by crude reality till time stopped.
And then the sudden bustle of traffic made me realize how special those few moments were. A smile that jus restored the feeling of a beautiful life. I got a flag from her,priced rupees 5 only. And thought about the last 23 yrs of independence. Its worth every moment of celebration.
I am glad about who I am….of what I have and what I am gonna be.
Happy Independence Day.

13th August 2006
00.45 hrs

Life...love and paradoxes

It’s been raining since morning, like one of those depressing days in the city that never stops. I woke up to remember the good old days of presidency college when chiro n myself would play mind games midst the torrential rains, it would rain so hard that the nearest vision would also be blurred. And now all of this seems such a distant past…..rush to work or else it’s an unpaid leave!
Had some other work in the the part of the city that’s called real Mumbai….Churchgate. I generally return by the Borivilli Fast but alas in the rush of time midst the swarming number of human faces jumped on to a Virar fast. Came back to work. Suddenly there was a rush of people from all around with the information of the series of cities in the city of Mumbai. Unnerved tried calling everyone I knew who travel by train. Couldn’t get through anyone who I knew was to travel by train…..could give anything to hear one word from them. Colleagues dropped me home. But someone screamed from inside….what did you do to save people’s lives….hundreds are dead, hundreds missing and you like million others will switch on the television for a breaking news? I still don’t know what was the guilt all about. All I know of is it was too overpowering for me to go all the way midst the chaos to Vile Parle. The road was blocked, hundreds of harrowed faces and the lost and diffident police force and flow of news with several versions. The woman nearby only said, ‘my son must have been dead, many have I just hope I find his body’. To tis I realized I had passed the way an hour before the tragedy happened….suddenly the otherwise not so important life seemed so precious. I had lost all courage and realized that its not so easy to just stand tall for all I know. I guess TISS had made me feel too much at home. The inadequacy of not having resources and the continuous ringing of the phone made me feel dizzy in the head…..unable to think thoughts and thus I returned back to the arms of familiarity. The night was terrible. The helplessness was killing….but proactive-ity was dead.
The dreams were familiar….the fall from the cliff, deep into the blue sea.
Indian Express-12th July 2006- Terror Tuesday.

July 13th 2006
00:48 hrs.

Finally.....

Da Hitchikers drm was not finding the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything. It was... to find a Friend with whom he could share a pan-galactic gargleblaster and ponder the ultimate question...

March 30th 2006
11:36 hrs

THTS ANOTHER STRANGER WHO SHARED GLANCES……will he walk away…or will he stay?

U suddenly find in a chilly night in a Mumbai pub one guy sipping on to wine…all to himself, absorbing moments with random thoughts crossing his head…he shared a special secret with another stranger. It was strange and special how just he made sense midst all the newness around. And before making way for me to vanish in the lonely streets of the cosmopolitan city he jus put a word of concern that was touching. Time passed by and met the stranger midst all the madness that life could offer. Often meeting a stranger is liberating, the anonymity is too dear to let go. And then there were sparks, of life, of randomness and eccentricity. In the wilderness of the staring truth of my country he made the best of luxury. And when I returned to begin from no man’s land meeting the different yet the known him was a pleasure! I probably was done with exploring the various interesting men in life…..no on second thoughts the random-ness in the grounded persona made it so attractive….have walked a considerable way….don’t know till when will I do that but ya it is a very unique experience of being around this quirk feeling of being loved….for being cared for who u are and who u want to be!

May 29th 2006
02:45 hrs.

snippets from the closet

the blog was craeted in march and with the rusting of time nd lapse of reason it was lost in darkness....just another day in paradise....some old ones being reposted.....hoping they still translate the myriad shades of being.....

Coming BACK to LifE!

Revival is something I have always enjoyed…..the end of one day and the night with the process of promise of the dawn….a new beginning.
Life has changed a lot….Kashmir made me grow up after comfortably numb became too uncomfortable for comfort. The place was just ecstatic….like I felt like the boundless boundaries that one could fly over..
About the mundane realities….got myself to earn bread and butter and then started missing the passion and dreams that I was to chase…..and now trying to recreate them and almost ready to take off.
Each frame is embedded in the mind….waiting the world to show the picture….of life that’s best described as random strokes on the bluegrey sky.
People who mean a lot are nearby yet far away and some has lost themselves in translation!
And with this grandeur of celebration where everyday is unfolding a new set of realities….I arise, awake, and shine…….